Bar-jokes

Well of course there are bar-jokes on this site.  The Foo and I hear a lot of bar jokes.  Talk to the Foo if you don’t like this — it was his idea.

Sears Tower

Our friend walks into the bar on the top of the Sears Tower.  This guy sits down at the bar, has a couple of drinks, turns to the fellow sitting next to him at the bar and says “I bet you I can jump out that window, almost touch the ground, and drift right back up.”

Speedy turtle

A guy comes walking into a bar with a little turtle in his hand. The turtle’s one eye is black and blue, two of his legs are bandaged, and his whole shell is taped together with duct tape. The bartender asks the man: “What is wrong with your turtle?”

Redneck joke

A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, “Wanna hear a “redneck” joke?”

Descartes

Descartes walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender asks “You wanna beer?”

Punishment

A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs.

Ah, the Irish

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in the bar and asks if he could buy him a drink.

Horse tale

A horse walks into the bar.

Fish

A dog walks into a bar, jumps up on a stool, hooks his paws over the bar and says “Got any fish?”. The bartender says  “Sorry, this is bar, we don’t have any fish.”.

Whack your team

This is a “fill in the blank” joke for those of you who are suffering through a bad season and need a way to express your unhappiness…
This guy walks into a bar with his dog to watch the [insert your team] game. He sits down on a bar stool and the dog does same thing on the one next to him.

Dart game

A very drunk man goes into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender serves him and asks him if he would like to try the bar game of darts. Three in the bulls eye and win a prize.. Only a dollar for three darts.

Ever hopeful…

A bartender is standing behind the bar when Our Hero comes stumbling in the front door. He wobbles up to the bar, stabilizes himself, and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender, being responsible, responds “I’m sorry buddy, but you seem to have had enough to drink.” The drunk, disappointed, stumbles out of the bar.

Crowd walks in…

A minister, a priest, a rabbi and a duck walk into the bar.

Bars and miracles

A mangy looking guy who goes into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says: “No way. I don’t think you can pay for it.”

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